Saturday, December 20, 2008
Why Not?
I finally caved and put myself out there on facebook. It is not the stalker's paradise that I imagined it to be, since you have to ask to be friends with anyone whose profile is of mild interest to you. Drat! Nevertheless, it is fun and I am embroiled in a rip-roarin game of scrabble with my sister and guess whose trash is being kicked by whom? Yep. Mine by hers....or something. Anywho, so I looked at my blog to see if I was getting any increased traffic since going on Facebook, and guess what, dawgs? Someone from Dublin, Ireland looked at my blog! Could it be? Is it even possible? I think it might be........BONO! I hope he doesn't read the blog where I admitted that he is sort of a dork sometimes. And even if he did read that, I am sure he's humble enough to agree with me. Cause I mean, even I admit to being a dork sometimes.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Tips for the Domestically Challenged (Or Lazy)
If you are like me, then you didn't really mentally or physically prepare yourself for a life of domesticity while you were growing up. Sure I played dolls when I was little, but I also played "lawyer." I was usually a working mother in my childhood pretend play. So now that I am lucky enough to stay home with my kids, I gotta say I am a little nonplussed. So, I am the one who cleans? All the time? Now, my mother taught me to clean and she taught me the value of hard work, but she worked outside of the home, too. So I just never really thought about the every day work of domesticity. I've been married for almost eight years, and I am just finally starting to "get" what it is that I am supposed to do--but that don't mean I like it! So, I've developed a system for myself, and people like me--read lazy slobs--that makes domesticity a little easier to swallow. So, without further ado,
TIPS FOR THE DOMESTICALLY CHALLENGED
1. Realize that chores are things you will have to do more than once. The floor gets dirty every day. If you only do the dishes once, you may run out of clean plates. Accept this as absolute truth, and you will avoid some heartache. It's hard to believe, I know. I have spent a lot of time feeling bewildered: "I just swept this floor last week! What's with all the dust bunnies? "How can the toilet be this dirty? It looked so clean two weeks ago!" etc.
2. Keep a container of Clorox or Lysol wipes in the bathroom and kitchen. They make quick spot-cleaning a snap and help you avoid the hard work of spraying cleaner, wetting a rag, and THEN wiping. Sheesh.
3. Have at least one household task scheduled. May I recommend laundry? It never goes away, increases exponentially with each new baby, and really sucks to fold and put away. So do what my mother-in-law taught me: do laundry on Tuesday and Friday. Kacy recommends folding while watching TV or movies. Use nice smelling detergent, and make your laundry area pleasant by putting a brightly colored rug there, or installing something cute and organizational from Ikea or the Container Store. Crank some White Stripes or other rock music if it puts you in the mood. If you have to do your laundry at a laundromat or communcal laundry room, arrange to not have your children with you when you do it, then you can read a good book or magazine while you wait--better yet, leave it and go shopping till it's finished!
4. Another word on laundry: occasionally you may feel the need to get a leg up, some extra help, a head start. In this case it is perfectly acceptable--if not absolutely necessary--to take your laundry to a laundry place and pay to have it cleaned and folded for you. I have done this and felt empowered and happy afterwards (and yes, it cost $80).
5. Don't worry about cleaning your whole house every day, but have like one-two things that you do every day. For me, it's the dishes. I haven't always been the best dish-doer in the world. But I have FINALLY established a daily dish habit and it actually makes me happy. Having a kitchen that I love helps. So if you need to remodel your kitchen on the basis of making cleaning it more enjoyable, go for it!
6. If clutter is a problem for you--like it is for me, yowza!--purchase cute baskets or tins and put clutter in there. Clean it out once per week. Also, don't feel guilty about throwing away some of your preschool/elementary student's artwork/never-ending supply of completed worksheets. Keep a file for each grade and save only the best artwork. You are not a bad person for throwing 90% of this stuff away.
7. Never clean for more than fifteen minute intervals. Set the timer. Work like a dog. Then take a nice break--for an hour, or a week!--and start again. Fifteen minutes is actually longer than it really takes to pick up the clutter in a room. You'd be surprised at how little time it really takes to clean up. I always am.
8. Make time for the following things: blogging, tv, reading, staring, and doing stuff with your kids and for yourself.
9. They say it takes three weeks to establish a habit. I am on week 20 of trying to make the beds every day. It still isn't a habit yet. But I am a believer in the power of a made bed to make you feel good and to improve the look and feel of your whole house. If you can make a bed, you don't have to vacuum!
10. Lower your standards of cleanliness with each child you bring into your home.
11. A fluff in the dryer on "permanent press" beats an hour of ironing any day of the week.
12. Know this: a house that smells good looks better.
13. Keep one part of your house--the part closest to the front door, perhaps?--perpetually clean. Then you won't be too humiliated when people drop in on your unexpectedly.
14. Don't try to ascribe special meaning to the cleaning that you do. It's just cleaning. The glories of being a mother lie in teaching your son to scramble his own eggs, to like cool music, and to be a good person.
15. And while we're on the subject: the sooner you teach your kids to get their own snacks, the happier you will be at six a.m. when your three year old is hungry.
16. Furthermore, set your kids' expectations of meals and snacks LOW. Then anything you do will seem like a treat!
17. Last, but not least: don't beat up on yourself for not being all "domestic" like. You are probably a product of the feminist movement and a working mother. You grew up admiring Diane Keaton in the movie Baby Boom. You can't expect to love cooking and cleaning.
18. But you can expect to be expected to do those things.
TIPS FOR THE DOMESTICALLY CHALLENGED
1. Realize that chores are things you will have to do more than once. The floor gets dirty every day. If you only do the dishes once, you may run out of clean plates. Accept this as absolute truth, and you will avoid some heartache. It's hard to believe, I know. I have spent a lot of time feeling bewildered: "I just swept this floor last week! What's with all the dust bunnies? "How can the toilet be this dirty? It looked so clean two weeks ago!" etc.
2. Keep a container of Clorox or Lysol wipes in the bathroom and kitchen. They make quick spot-cleaning a snap and help you avoid the hard work of spraying cleaner, wetting a rag, and THEN wiping. Sheesh.
3. Have at least one household task scheduled. May I recommend laundry? It never goes away, increases exponentially with each new baby, and really sucks to fold and put away. So do what my mother-in-law taught me: do laundry on Tuesday and Friday. Kacy recommends folding while watching TV or movies. Use nice smelling detergent, and make your laundry area pleasant by putting a brightly colored rug there, or installing something cute and organizational from Ikea or the Container Store. Crank some White Stripes or other rock music if it puts you in the mood. If you have to do your laundry at a laundromat or communcal laundry room, arrange to not have your children with you when you do it, then you can read a good book or magazine while you wait--better yet, leave it and go shopping till it's finished!
4. Another word on laundry: occasionally you may feel the need to get a leg up, some extra help, a head start. In this case it is perfectly acceptable--if not absolutely necessary--to take your laundry to a laundry place and pay to have it cleaned and folded for you. I have done this and felt empowered and happy afterwards (and yes, it cost $80).
5. Don't worry about cleaning your whole house every day, but have like one-two things that you do every day. For me, it's the dishes. I haven't always been the best dish-doer in the world. But I have FINALLY established a daily dish habit and it actually makes me happy. Having a kitchen that I love helps. So if you need to remodel your kitchen on the basis of making cleaning it more enjoyable, go for it!
6. If clutter is a problem for you--like it is for me, yowza!--purchase cute baskets or tins and put clutter in there. Clean it out once per week. Also, don't feel guilty about throwing away some of your preschool/elementary student's artwork/never-ending supply of completed worksheets. Keep a file for each grade and save only the best artwork. You are not a bad person for throwing 90% of this stuff away.
7. Never clean for more than fifteen minute intervals. Set the timer. Work like a dog. Then take a nice break--for an hour, or a week!--and start again. Fifteen minutes is actually longer than it really takes to pick up the clutter in a room. You'd be surprised at how little time it really takes to clean up. I always am.
8. Make time for the following things: blogging, tv, reading, staring, and doing stuff with your kids and for yourself.
9. They say it takes three weeks to establish a habit. I am on week 20 of trying to make the beds every day. It still isn't a habit yet. But I am a believer in the power of a made bed to make you feel good and to improve the look and feel of your whole house. If you can make a bed, you don't have to vacuum!
10. Lower your standards of cleanliness with each child you bring into your home.
11. A fluff in the dryer on "permanent press" beats an hour of ironing any day of the week.
12. Know this: a house that smells good looks better.
13. Keep one part of your house--the part closest to the front door, perhaps?--perpetually clean. Then you won't be too humiliated when people drop in on your unexpectedly.
14. Don't try to ascribe special meaning to the cleaning that you do. It's just cleaning. The glories of being a mother lie in teaching your son to scramble his own eggs, to like cool music, and to be a good person.
15. And while we're on the subject: the sooner you teach your kids to get their own snacks, the happier you will be at six a.m. when your three year old is hungry.
16. Furthermore, set your kids' expectations of meals and snacks LOW. Then anything you do will seem like a treat!
17. Last, but not least: don't beat up on yourself for not being all "domestic" like. You are probably a product of the feminist movement and a working mother. You grew up admiring Diane Keaton in the movie Baby Boom. You can't expect to love cooking and cleaning.
18. But you can expect to be expected to do those things.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Moral Dilemma
So I was perusing the bulletin board outside of our local grocery store when I found this sign with the words "preschool dance class" and a phone number. On a whim, I called them. I'd been thinking Hazel might like to take a dance class, and frankly I could use a little break, so I took Hazel to a trial class. She LOVED it and did really well for her first time. Somewhere in my conversation with the teacher--who is as kind and professional and sweet as they come--the word "clogging" was mentioned, as in "we do a little clogging, a little tap, a little ballet..." CLOGGING? So I just thought maybe clogging was an OPTION. A choice among many types of classes. Then I noticed the white high-top tennis shoes with loose taps nailed to the bottoms sitting on a shelf next to many trophies with titles like "clog champions 2006" on them. Now, I had never seen a clogging tennis shoe before. This has got to be a hard core clogging operation, I thought. Then the teacher taught Hazel how to "chug." I'm one choreographed dance to "Elvira" away from having a little clogger in the house! So, what do I do? I mean, on the one hand, if Hazel likes to clog, I should just let her do it, right? Who am I to project my hatred of clogging onto my offspring? On the other hand--and I hope I am not offending anyone out there--it's CLOGGING. I would not allow Hazel to clog for the same reasons why I don't allow her to wear mismatched clothes, or go too long without a bath. Isn't it my respsonsibility as a mother to keep my children as safe from humiliation and nerdiness as I possibly can? Life is hard enough! Why not give them a head start?
I asked my mother what I should do and she refused to even discuss it. "Listen, I lived in Kentucky,"she told me, "no child from my loins will ever clog." I mean, for now I will keep Hazel in the class. She loves it, and the kids spend more time going on a bear hunt and running around the room than they do learning steps. But once she reaches the age of accountability--maybe even before--I will need to put my foot down.
My very tasteful, very quiet, foot.
I asked my mother what I should do and she refused to even discuss it. "Listen, I lived in Kentucky,"she told me, "no child from my loins will ever clog." I mean, for now I will keep Hazel in the class. She loves it, and the kids spend more time going on a bear hunt and running around the room than they do learning steps. But once she reaches the age of accountability--maybe even before--I will need to put my foot down.
My very tasteful, very quiet, foot.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Christmas in Rexburg
I'm so excited to spend my first Christmas in Rexburg. I wonder if I will regret that we are spending the eve of Christmas eve in a yurt at Harriman State Park? We might regret it when we are snowshoeing for one mile to get to the yurt with all our stuff, including a whiny 3-year-old and a fussy 6-month-old, in tow. We also never really found out what the bathroom situation was at this yurt....Oh well! 'Tis the season for freezing to death in an outhouse! I'm sure it will be a wonderful experience full of snow, and . . . more snow. Another thing that's awesome about Christmas in Rexburg is the fact that the city refuses to plow the roads. Isn't that awesome? I mean, why risk damaging the delicate asphalt? Who wants a pothole when they can have 6 inches of snow and ice on the road instead? Seriously, navigating the streets in this town is more treacherous than driving through a snowy mountain pass. 'Tis the season for sliding right through busy intersections! Apparently the city did finally break down and buy a snowplow. How many years has it been snowing in Rexburg? And they are just NOW buying a snowplow? Furthermore, WHERE is the snowplow? Look at the street in front of my house:
If you think this was taken early in the morning, perhaps before the snowplow made it out for the day, you are wrong. It's 4:30 pm. Oh well. I guess I am just going to have to cowboy up and face one of my biggest fears of all time: driving in the snow (second only to eating a sandwich with mayo, mustard, pickles, and slimy cold cuts...shudder).
There is at least one really good thing about Rexburg, though. The sunsets:
HOOO-AH!
If you think this was taken early in the morning, perhaps before the snowplow made it out for the day, you are wrong. It's 4:30 pm. Oh well. I guess I am just going to have to cowboy up and face one of my biggest fears of all time: driving in the snow (second only to eating a sandwich with mayo, mustard, pickles, and slimy cold cuts...shudder).
There is at least one really good thing about Rexburg, though. The sunsets:
HOOO-AH!
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Thanksgiving 'n' Stuff
I think I may have had the best Thanksgiving EVER. And it was all due to Rock Band. Lemme tell ya, there is nothing quite so sweet as hearing your husband sing along to "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys. It's also extremely gratifying to put a microphone in your cleavage and sing while simultaneously playing bass guitar to "Roxanne" and "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" (I think that's what Sting would do if he were a woman). And then there's the feeling of togetherness that only comes when the entire family is playing along to the Rolling Stones' "Gimme Shelter" and your niece spontaneously breaks out a triangle and starts banging away. This year, as we all gathered around the Nintendo Wii, I really felt grateful for the people who conceived of Rock Band, the awesomest game of all time, dude. The awesomest.
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