A Few Confessions

1. Whenever that pop-up for a free Tiffany & Co bracelet comes up on my computer, I really, really want to get it.



2. My default song, the one that always gets in my head when there is nothing else going on in there, is "Getting Jiggy With It" by Will Smith. I don't understand this, as I don't even own this song, nor have I heard it since 1997.



3. I once entertained the possibility of being a Mary Kay "consultant" for a lot longer than I usually entertain really bad ideas. I went to a regional meeting and everything. They made me sing and clap "I feel good and I feel great, I'm a money-machine," which was a real wake-up call for me.



4. I've done away with cups and glasses; instead, I just drink right out of the 2 liter bottle.



5. For quite a long time I thought the word for "fork" in Spanish was "por favor." My version of "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off" went like this: "you say potato, I say potahto. You say fork, and I say por favor."



6. I know all the good places to take a nap on BYU campus.



7. On personality tests, I'm usually too embarrassed to answer truthfully on such questions as "Do you always finish what you have started?" and "Do you care what others think of you?" which is why I am Mother Theresa and not some one like Hitler or Chairman Mao on the world leader personality trest.



8. One time, I was trying to be really graceful and clever, so I stood up on my son's sit-and-spin and tried to spin around it on one foot with my leg in the air while singing like an opera star. I fell hard and sliced open my leg. My husband rolled his eyes at me.



9. This is my version of a perfect day: wake up at about 9. Go to appointment for facial, massage, and brow-waxing at spa. Head to the mall for a $5000 shopping spree, then stop off at Stuart Frasier for a top-of-the-line haircut. Top it all off with a trip to an expensive steak restaurant and a movie, at which I eat two large popcorns. Is this not shockingly shallow and gluttonous? I mean, I guess my kid and husband could come along--as long as they don't make me feel guilty or say anything to me at all.



10. It is after nine and I am not showered or dressed; in fact, I am sitting at the computer, wearing long johns, eating toast, and drinking "Dr. Thunder" from a 2 liter bottle.