How I'd love it if this were a sale at Arbys. Alas, it's just a list of 35 things I have learned in the past 35 years.
From My Church:
Doctrine is pure and simple. The culture we create around that doctrine can complicate things and is mainly focused on outward appearances and ways to judge each other's righteousness. (Except the jello part of that culture. Jello is pure and simple, too).
The "mission field" is everywhere, even in Provo, Utah.
It's best to stay as far away from the line as possible, not to see how close we can get without crossing over it.
Don't trust the smooth talker.
Try new things, even if people think you are a nutter (see above photo).
Do things the right way the first time.
Wool or poly propylene is superior in every way to cotton in terms of long johns.
From J.K. Rowling and J.R.R. Tolkein
Not all who wander are lost.
It is our choices, not our abilities, that make us who we are.
Kindness is grossly underrated.
I must access my inner Took sometimes.
There's more than one way to do a chicken dance.
Leo McGary will always do the right thing.
Keep secrets in the vault.
Cylons are people too.
Don't get attached to Matthew Crawley.
Don't wear message tees.
Tim Gunn is a trusted friend who will never lead you astray.
From Fashion and Beauty
You shouldn't wash your hair every day.
Stop wasting time worrying about being fat. Also, stop trying to look like you are 20. You're 35, sister. Own it.
There's always someone fatter than you at the pool.
Insecurity isn't beautiful, no matter what "One Direction" says.
Spend money on things you rub in, not things you rinse off.
From Being a Mom
You are "the mom." People think of you like this mom:
Frumpy, thin hair, ruffly collars. You can wear a lot of bling on your jeans and put skunk stripes in your hair, but this is how most people will think of you no matter what you do. This is oddly freeing.
Kids are their own people, not your lump of clay to mold.
The best thing you can do for your kids is to just love them unconditionally. Love doesn't mean coddle, though.
Just enjoy every minute! Because your babies will grow up too fast--psyche! Totally kidding. Just drink a coconut lime diet coke every day and put a TV in your bedroom and watch it while you are nursing. I don't know what else to tell ya.
Sleep train babies.
From Martha Stewart
It's cool to be domestic.
Cornmeal pate brisee makes an excellent crust for pumpkin pie.
From My Mom
Creativity and cleverness reign supreme.
Work hard, be dependable, and give your whole self to your work (whether at home, at church, or at an office).
Bloom where you're planted.
Don't be snobby.