10. Walking into my office unexpectedly, only to find me pulling up my nude, fishnet knee-highs.
9. Discovering the first draft of my thesis chapter one, in which I declare that my proposal is "full-proof."
8. Listening to my internal monologue during class: "If Bono walked in here, right now, what would he be wearing? What would I do? What would I SAY?"
7. Finding out that in a two week span, I lost an entire lesson plan, locked my keys in my office, and accidentally locked the filing cabinet that I share with two other teachers, and for which we have no key.
6. Hearing my true laugh, which sounds a lot more like a seal than a human being.
5. Happening upon my scribbled lesson plan which says "Nov 18th: Brown high heels, brown pants, cream Banana Republic shirt, with rumpled hair look. Oh, and something about citing sources."
4. Seeing me without makeup, and realizing that I am really an ugly old hag disguised as a young hispter.
3. Discovering my collection of past students' finger bones.
2. Reading an end-of-semester evaluation which states "You want to improve English 115 at BYU? Get rid of Carly Paul."
1. Reading this blog.