Tuesday, December 14, 2004

My Weekend of Debauchery

Well, as many of you are aware, I visited the infamous Marcy Dibbleblotts this weekend. She is well known for her hilarious blog, but little known for her hilarious dressing-room demeanor and knowledge of restaurants in the VA/DC area. Yes, we went shopping, ate out, and went to movies. No, we did not go on the walking tour of the new Native American museum. This trip was about ME, and Marcy, of course. Here are some statistics:

Number of papers graded out of the 45 that I took to grade on the plane: 0

Number of David Sedaris Essays read on the plane: 22

Number of people on the plane with their light on after everyone else fell asleep: 1 (me--I was hard at work reading "How to Wear Lingerie" in my "Allure" magazine. Not because I ever will wear it, but because I felt that it was important to know how. Cause who knew there was a trick to it?)

Number of times Marcy and I ate out: 4; Number of times I called Mike to gloat about how delicious it was: 4; Number of times I determined to move to VA to be closer to "Five Guys": 27

Number of third cousins once removed that we went to dinner and movie with: 1 (had a great time, Neil).

Number of teenagers asking for donations for their afterschool programs outside of the grocery store: 2; Amount of $ donated: 0; Number of times Marcy said "geez, those kids are just merciless: 1.

Number of items purchased at Potomac Mills Outlets: 10

Number of times people asked me if I was "seeing all the monuments and sights": 7; Number of monuments visited: 1 (the new WWII memorial); Amount of time spent there: 10 minutes.

Number of times we saw President Bush's motorcade: 1; Number of times we saw Dick Cheney through a tinted car window: 1

Number of times I have thought about the chocolate pudding at the temple since I ate it on Saturday: 10

Number of attractive women who dress like fashion models in Marcy's ward: 1 million.

Number of musical numbers involving a harp, flute, or violin in the ward Christmas program: 32

Nights we stayed up past 1 am: 4; Nights I stayed with Marcy, total: 4

Number of times Holden put the phone up to our dog's ear when I called: 4

Amount of money spent on shoes: $30; Amount of time spent looking at shoes at DSW and off Broadway Shoes: 4 hours

Number of burned CD's I came home with: 8

Number of glowing Rudolf Reindeer noses purchased: 2

Number of times either Marcy or I said "Oh, Cletis" in the dressing room: 87

Number of times someone asked me to watch their stuff at the airport: 1, but isn't 1 time shocking enough?? She brokethe cardinal rule of airport security! How did this lady know she could trust me? Was it because I was reading David Sedaris?

So, there you go: just a few statistics and highlights from our trip. One could argue that it was an eating/shopping tour of Arlington. But that's exactly what I wanted. Thanks, Marcy. ILY.


  1. Loved the trip. Loved the Bridget Jones format of this post. Come back, Cletis!

  2. Welcome home to the blog word... do they not have computers where Marcy lives??

  3. Rebecca,
    Computers are too passe in Virginia, where trends come and go like so much chaff blowing in the wind. Heidi, I agree about Five Guys...DANG! And the Colonial ward was QUITE intimidating. Luckily Marcy can stand up to all of them with her cute clothes and talents.

  4. Thanks for the shout-out, Carly. Saturday was really fun--I wish you visited more often. It's nice to have a cool cousin. Most of my other cousins are losers. My oldest cousin held up a bunch of Shopko pharmacies for Oxycontin a couple of years ago. I was watching the news at my parents house when they broke in to say "the Oxycontin thief has been caught." A proud moment for the family, that's for sure. (Oh, he's your cousin, too.)