I am about to consume toaster strudel #5 for the day and it is only 2:30. Is that digusting to you? Have you ever HAD a Pillsbury Toaster Strudel? The cream cheese and raspberry kind? Cause if you have ever had one, then you'd know that the Dough Boy puts an addictive chemical in them that makes you crave them fortnightly. So, LEAVE ME ALONE.
Actually, there may be more than one reason for my strudel overdose:
1. I am trying to cut back on my trips to Krispy Kreme for jelly donuts.
2. I am genuinely hungry for something sweet and just one of those luscious pastries won't do.
3. Holden is asleep and Mike is taking a final, no NO SHARING!
4. I am currently dreading a final exam that I have to give tonight at 5:45 pm. All I have to do is sit there, but I feel really put out by it.
5. I am in the middle of a massive grading spree for a UVSC professor.
6. I have graded analysis papers on the following topics:
A) Why Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" is about Jesus (John Bonham is currently rolling over in his grave).
B) Why Shania Twain's country song uses cars as a metaphor for physical pleasure
C) Why the family in this family picture looks happy
D) Why this Dove hairspray commercial is abusive to women
E) Why the relationship between "Incrediboy" (who later becomes Syndrome) and Mr. Incredible is really a symbol for the US putting Fidel Castro into power in Cuba.
F) Why Alanis Morisett's "Hand in Pocket" is "like me, when I'm out of my comfort zone, like I still hold back and stuff. I may be hanging out and having fun, but really I have one hand in my pocket..."
Shall I go on? There are 57 papers. And they are all like this. Tell me that you WOULDN'T be chugging toaster strudel like water if you had to read these papers.
7. We caught 4 mice last night. And I can hear one behind the refrigerator right now. This makes me want to eat all the strudel before they do. It also makes me feel like I'm living in the movie "Ben." And I can't really talk about it yet.