That Flave O'Flay is so BARFY! (Or, in Honor of my Mother Part II)

I had a bit of a "surreal" conversation with my mother the other day. We were discussing reality TV (in particular, the Apprentice and something about Chris getting arrested for misconduct. I can't wait for the Donald to fire him up and down the boardroom). And the conversation went from the Apprentice to Supernanny (which I recently discovered and love) and finally to "some disgusting show that I really got into," as my mother put it. She knew neither the name, nor the location of the show. All she knew was that it was "barfy." My guess is she was talking about "The Surreal Life" on VH1. And her main point of disgustedness with the show was the love affair between "Flave O'Flay" and "that Brigitte Nelson woman who made Sylvester Stallone leave Sasha." I didn't know who Brigitte Nelson was, until I realized that she played that austere Russian woman in Rocky IV, and I always wondered why Rocky would go for her. Anyway, apparently Flava Flav and Briggitte are a hot-ticket item, and my mother knows all the details (except for how to pronounce Flava Flav's name).

In addition to being "barfy," ol' Flava also wears horns on his head, and changes his teeth to suit his multitudinous moods. And that Brigitte woman is so obnoxious and "saggy." So, they fell in love (mom doesn't know all the details here, because she only watched till she got too digusted and then changed the channel, and then it's hard to find it again, when you don't know where the show is), and their relationship is so rocky. They fight and fight and fight. Then they hug, and hug, and hug. And then Brigitte flies to Italy and gets engaged to an Italian man about half her age. This doesn't suit the love-struck Flavo Flavo, so he flies out to meet her and demands that she not marry this guy. But Flavie (who, apparently Brigitte calls "Foofie") won't marry Brigitte, so she doesn't know what to do. Her answer is to hire an English woman to teach Flavo some manners. But you should see how mean Favor is to this poor woman. "I need to be me," he keeps saying. "I can't be anyone else!"


Cute couple, no?

When my mom finally finished going through the details of the show, she had almost gotten Flava Flav's name down. "OH,FLAVA FLAV!" she cried, "like fava beans!"