Saturday, April 9, 2005

Various and Sundry Items of Grave Import (Or, Help, I'm Ugly!)

I've let myself go. I DID get a brow wax before going to Oregon so I would have two of them in the family picture. Other than that my beauty regime has been reduced to the occasional disastrous bang trim, and every now and then changing into a more "professional" looking shirt to wear over my "just lounge" pants from Old Navy. This has become my new teaching uniform. By the way, do you think that the words "just lounge" imply that you should ONLY wear the pants while lounging? Because if that is the case, I am flagrantly flouting the rules. I wear them everywhere, even in a professional setting. Although in my heart I am lounging constantly, so perhaps it is okay. I know that being pregnant could excuse a lot of this letting-go-of-the-self, but honestly, it's not like all my clothes have stopped fitting (YET), and even a pregnant lady can have decent hair. I'm just giving up, like George Costanza when he started wearing sweatpants every day. I am George.

I have long hair right now. And I should be happy with it, as I have spent two years trying to get some distance from the awful Rexburg, ID haircut. But every time I see a cute girl with cute short hair, jungle drums start beating in my head and I want to grab her and take her to the salon with me and say "make me look like her!" Anyway, there are a lot of problems with my appearance right now. Happily, I DID purchase some self-tanner from Costco. It came in a ten gallon drum, so it oughta last me through the season.

PS: The funniest lyric replacement of all time comes to us courtesy of Kacy, who replaced U2's "Stuck in a moment and you can't get out of it" with "stuck in Hans Moleman, and you can't get out of him"

I hope you've all seen the Simpsons and can appreciate this lyric replacement. Imagine being stuck in Hans Moleman!


  1. Carly, Carly...what happened to tweed skirts and bows and pointy shoes? I'm sure I would be jealous of how you look in your lounge pants...and when they say "just lounge" I think they are suggesting that you should always just lounge, not have a job, not take care of hygene, it's a command "JUST LOUNGE"....

    and you're SO not ugly you cute petite blond thing

    P.S. do you ever have days when EVERYONE you look at is ugly? it used to happen to me at BYU all the time. Not only was I frusterated at the fact that the harder it was to get into BYU the lower the standards of dressing well got (high water jeans and white socks...what happened to all the stupid but well dressed people?), but I would just look at people (strangers exclusively)and think, "You're're ugly..." I think it might have had something to do with PMS.

  2. Thank you so much for the reassurance, Carrie Ann. These days at BYU I am usually made to feel ugly by the girls I see walking around. Except I will say that the other day I actually thought "have you ever heard of self-tanner?" when I saw some ghostly girls taking advantage of the warm weather and wearing skirts without hose. I felt that I had the right, having just purchased the tanner at Costco.

  3. Thank you for sharing my lyric replacement with everyone--it would seem like bragging if I did it myself. It really is something everyone should sing at least once. You look good by the way, although I haven't seen you for a few days. . .

  4. Jungle drums...I love it. You shouldn't think twice about how you look, because I second Carrie Ann, you look great. Wait a minute, was this another post to elicit compliments? Well, it worked on me!

    And might I say that I feel pregnancy is a time to put comfort above all else (sometimes physical comfort, i.e. just lounge pants. and sometimes emotional comfort, i.e. self tanner) It's all a delicate balance that I personally have yet to strike.

  5. itl at jungle drums. But, jungle dreams or not, I think your hair looks great. Don't cut it, George.

    I still constantly wear the lounge pants your mom gave me...umm about 5 years ago. Although they sound like real pajama pants compared to your supercool "Just Lounge" pants. I really do need to move on as mine have shrunk up to about mid-calf length now too.

  6. Also, whether or not you wrote this post to get some compliments like Robyn said, at least they are sincere comments. I keep waiting for a comment on my racial love stories post like "You are stick thin, too." okay so that would be a lie but at least something about "a little junk in the trunk" would suffice.

  7. Okay, so I don't see you on a regular basis (okay, we've never met) but man those pregnancy hormones can be WICKED! I'm sure you look lovely in your wonderful Lounge Pants that I wish I could get away with at work. But alas, I cannot...I should change jobs.

    Note to self: Change to a job that allows lounge pants...

  8. ..."even a pregnant lady can have decent hair"...I'm sure you're looking fabulous, but here is some interesting info: One lovely side effect of being pregnant is that your hair gets super thick and luxurious. And just when you are getting used to it you deliver the baby and exactly 3 months later it starts falling out in clumps in the shower. And thus begins the "ups" and "downs" of child-bearing and -rearing.

  9. I think you look great. I like your hair the way it is but I like it short too. You can pull off either look even without the self tanner. In fact, I have this picture of an over-tanned Carly in my head and it's making me laugh. Out loud.