Tuesday, December 20, 2005

I am a Frumpy Old Woman (Or, What I SHOULD Have Worn to the U2 Concert)

What I wore: Parachute-esque jeans, hot pink t-shirt, sage green hooded cardigan, and a grey parka (hate the word parka, for some reason, but that's what it was).

What I SHOULD have worn: sleeveless, strapless santa claus suit over tight jeans and ugg boots, with santa claus hat on top.

Or: loose blue chiffon halter top, tight jeans, and large fluffy ugg boots. Because those were the outfits worn by the tramps Bono asked to join him on stage. Tramps!

Or, if I wanted to look like Bono (which I have tried before): tapered black jeans, with the bottoms sort of scrunched up against large, round-toe cluncky black boots; captain's hat.

Note to Bono: tapered leg jeans are not flattering on short, thick men. I love you and feel that you could wear sweatpants and still look good. And I know that I am not one to talk, with my parachute jeans, but I'd like to see you in a nice straight leg trouser, in which your leg seenms to float, rather than shlump.

Moving on....
Highlights of the concert include

1. Eating a FANTASTIC french onion steak sandwich at Red Rock before we went to the Delta Center.

2. Kacy and me running like the wind when we realized we were waiting for Christian at the wrong spot and that we could possibly be late for Bono's big entrance. "I hate us!" Kacy yelled as we flew across the icey sidewalk. For those of you who know me personally, you know that it's a big deal for me to run. In fact, I don't think I've run since '01, when I was trying to catch a bus in Shanghai....

3. Bono appearing OUT OF NOWHERE on the stage! How did he do that?

4. Kacy and Christian meeting a member of Maroon Five while I was in the STINKIN' bathroom! I'm always in the bathroom when important things are going on.

5. Bono taking off his sunglasses for a touching rendition of Sometimes You Can't Make it on Your Own.

6. Kacy breaking into the touching moment by shouting "is that a bald spot on Bono's head?"

7. Kacy shouting "take your shirt off!" at Bono during his political commentary (steak sandwich dinner: $20. U2 ticket: $160. Kacy's running commentary during the concert: priceless).

8. Larry Mullen Jr. coming onto the ramp to play a single drum, while Kacy and I commented on his large upper body and seemingly atrophied waist and legs. Drummer's syndrome?

9. Everything Bono did, including wearing this shirt:

10. Ending the concert with 40, and Larry Mullen Jr. being the last to leave the stage.

11. The dance moves of the man in front of us, who liked to do "rainbow hands" and "jazz hands" throughout the concert.

In all, it was WICKED AWESOME.


  1. Your highlights are my highlights: we ate the same, we ran the same, we loved the same. You didn't look frumpy--and that is why Bono pretended to throw his heart to you [and me].

    Regarding Bono's pants: What can I say? He's stuck in Hans Moleman and he can't get out out of him.

    Regarding your pants: I want a lot of what you got and I want nothing that you're not.

  2. pph! you old hag, dont breake a hip at the U2 concert. if you can make it a nice night, you dont have to warn them.

  3. your eyes say

    "why would you do that to me"

    your body language says

    "i am stupid"

    I like your old photo

  4. please dont delete, i come in peace.

    man made objects will always brake. its the quality and the time it has been in use that makes the difference.

    1st, 2nd, and 3rd.

  5. It sounds like it was a fun concert. Um, did you meet the above commenters at the show? They are still high on Bono.

  6. I am afraid I didn't meet the strange commentors at the concert, particularly if one of them is Bono in disguise and if the other is in Maroon Five--remember I was in the bathroom and too frumpily dressed to catch Bono's eye.

  7. I feel like I should clarify. I met a brother of Lisa V. Clark but I really don't know if it is THE brother. Everything else is totally true though.

  8. I'm not sure I can picture you running now. What I picture is Phoebe in that one episode of "Friends" where she is running through Central Park. Are they similar styles?

    Ya know - pink and green together were definitive colors in the 80's. So really, your outfit was a tribute to Bono's 80's tribute. :) I think the two of you are still kindred spirits.

  9. I can't believe anonymous called you an old hag! How rude! You are not that or a frumpy old woman. Just your going to a U2 concert proves that. Plus I think your outfit sounds very cute and very concert appropriate. I am insanely jealous, but glad that it was wonderful. I loved hearing the highlights. Pinstriped concert!

  10. On my blog there is a picture of what I wore to a U2 concert in 1992. Be advised: Bono really likes girls who wear boy t-shirts, size XL, tapered faded jeans, with a jacket tied around the waist for extra accessory flair.

  11. It was, actually, my OTHER brother, the doctor in West Vally (any one need some laser work done?). . . but I hate to ruin the story. . . but my dad was there and Kacy said he looked like a sailor which HE DID, which was one of my favorite memories of the concert.

    But my OTHER brother, the Maroon 5 one, got us the tickets and then told us a crazy story about how he met Bono THAT NIGHT--after the SLC concert in LA--what? That jet-setter. Bono was having drinks with Lindsay Lohan (WHAT?!)

  12. You are long overdue for a post. It doesn't matter that you were on vacation for a month. Bring it on. DMP