10. "So, do you think the dudes who get to wear regular snowpants tease the dudes who have to wear those skin tight leotard suity things? Cause I bet that's all they talk about."
9. "Ouch! I hurt my ankle trying to do an axel!!"
8. "I can't stand this media manipulation! I am never watching this again."
7. "That crazy Apollo Anton Ohno! Is he more Apollo Creed or more Yoko Ono?"
6. "That SO could have been me out there!"
5. "So much of the winter Olympics is about being able to squat low for long periods of time. Sure, they call it a 'tuck' but we know better. They should stop calling it the 'Winter Games' and start calling it the 'Squat-athon.'"
4. "Hey, check out this sweet jeep I found online."
3. "What sport do you think Bono would want to watch the most?"
2. "PLEASE turn off ice dancing!"
1. "Do you think Bono is there?"