Would You Vote on my New Poll, Already? (and other important notices)

I am having a hard time getting people to notice my polls. I mean, the last poll ended up with, what, 9 votes, but three of those votes were me, sneaking and voting on a different computer--incidentally, I really DO plan to become less materialistic, and I will probably NEVER like my hair for longer than two weeks. Anyway, vote. This poll is even bigger and better than the last one and it was inspired by a Travel Channel show in which a man by the last name of Zimmern goes to strange countries and eats gross body parts of animals. Last night he happened to be in Taiwan. I don't know why the folks at Travel Channel think that we Americans like to watch a portly, bald man take bites of gross food and then react to them--"the consistency is so sinewy!"--but, for some reason it is fascinating! And now I can't wait to eat black chicken meat and fried bees.

In other news, tomorrow is national talk like a pirate day. I am SO DOWN for that. Too bad it's not a day that I teach, but it is a day that I take 5-7 10-11-year-old-girls to a hair salon for styling tips. That is the PERFECT opportunity to try out my "yarg!"

Also, I just feel that I need to announce that when I say such things as "who likes to rock the party," "this rocks my world/the house," "it was freakin amazing/awesome" etc. I am using those expressions in IRONY. I do not really talk like that in real life. Those are my blog persona phrases. In real life I am much more refined and dignified--think Queen of England. Have I ruined the illusion? If so, remember this: even the Queen of England has to go #2. Poo is the great equalizer (expression used in irony to mock Oprah who I hate so freakin' much). So, never be intimidated by either my blog persona or my real life persona.

So, to sum up: vote, talk like a pirate, and assume that all statements that you think are stupid are made in irony, and that the author realizes the possible stupidiy associated with such statements.