Thursday, October 4, 2007

Poll Analysis (or, you think I am ugly)

I am fascinated by the results of my recent poll about which celebrity would be most likely to fall in love with me. Since 3 of the 6 votes for Bono were actually mine (performed clandestinely on three different computers), I can only conclude that Jack Black is my one true celebrity love match. I find this fascinating, and choose to believe that it means you think that I am funny. I am clearly no Satine in Moulin Rouge

So you could not choose Christian, the romantic dreamer played by Ewan M. in Moulin Rouge.

I have neither "Spanish Eyes" nor could I ever be described as "The Sweetest Thing," or a "Babyface," so how could Bono love me?

See? Ali Hewson has Spanish eyes. I don't. She's naturally beatiful even as she ages. I am not.

I realize that Mr. Darcy is fictional, but all that proves is that I am nothing like my literary heroine, Elizabeth Bennett

And that I am not beautiful, witty, or vigorous enough to garner the love of this man:

Fine. I understand.

The only clear choice for you, my readers, was:

This man.
Awesome. I love Jack Black, and would probably give up a back tooth or less frequently used appendage to be as funny as he is--so great! I'm okay with Jack Black being the celebrity most likely to fall madly in love with me. Maybe it means that those other more traditionally "handsome" men are out of my league. Maybe it means that you think Jack Black is deep enough to see past my outer appearance, and fall in love with me anyway. Terrific! Maybe it means that you think Mike is like Jack Black. Whatever. I'm okay with it. Jack Black, if you are reading this, I'm afraid I'm taken, but it's nice to know that we could be in love under different circumstances. We should both feel privileged.


  1. I have thought a lot about this. I chose Bono and I think I am right. You have a lot in common--Christianity, children, and your love for Bono. This is not to say Jack Black wouldn't like you, because he would. But he wouldn't make a move because you are out of his league. Bless his heart.

    Would you really want Ewan's character in Moulin Rouge to love you? You are romantic, but not like him. He's basically a loser. Bless his heart.

    And, with all due respect to Mr. Darcy, you are much too modern for him, even though his old-fashioned ways are part of what you find attractive. He wouldn't know what to do with you. Mr.Darcy is just a wee bit stuffy. Bless his heart.

    Seriously. I think Bono would really like you.

  2. Oh, shoot. I was thinking Jack White, too, I really was. And I voted for him because he's funky cool and you clearly adore him. I thought that's what you would have wanted. Jack Black is a different story. Do over.

  3. Clearly Robyn and Emily think this is a black or white issue. Ha.

    But really, I agree with Kacy and will just say ditto to everything she said. But you closed the poll before I voted.

  4. Oh dear. I purposely did not put Jack White's name down because I knew that he would win hands down, and I wanted some variety in the votes. Now it has come back to bite me.

  5. I don't know you well enough to have voted, but thought it would be good to remind you of Jack Black's role in The Holiday with Kate Winslet. He plays a totally charming, sweet, funny guy. I thought, "romantic comedy with Jack Black as one of the male leads? that's going to suck." but he was totally believable...probably even more so than Jude Law (he always comes off a little sleazy to me). So, don't fret too much - Jack Black isn't Nacho Libre all of the time and he cleans up alright. What more could you ask for in an imaginary celebrity husband?

  6. Even I found Jack Black attractive in The Holiday, and I'm not a huge Jack Black fan.

  7. I voted for Bono and not just because you told me to.

    And I voted for Lucy Ramona even though I like Sylvie. What about Sylvie May?

  8. It's not that we think you're ugly (which, among other reasons is why I voted for Bono BTW), but that despite your protestations to the contrary that you must be pregnant with a girl.

  9. No, really. Not pregnant. Just obsessed with names. Thanks for the Bono vote.