Wednesday, May 21, 2008

My Fears About Heaven

Look, I want to go to heaven. And I'm doing what I can to get there. But I have to admit that one thing about the prospect of celestial glory really has me worried: food. Will there BE food in heaven? Will we NEED it? Will we all be vegetarians? Will we eat nothing but superfoods like raw spinach leaves, or will we eat some sort of heavenly food that is nutritionally perfect but tastes like cardboard? Will there be Elvish lembas bread on the ground every morning for us to eat? OR, will we still be able to eat a big steak and baked potato dinner? The whole "lion laying down with the lamb" concept: does it extend to humans having friendships with (and therefore having no desire to eat) cattle? I heard a thing on NPR about "tissue-cultured meat." Ick. If that's what we will be eating in heaven, I am done for. Maybe there will be steak trees in heaven that magically grow real steak without harming any animals?

Two of my major vices in my carnal, earthly state are, of course, food, and clothing. But I feel like I could get over clothing. I can wear the same white robe as everyone else when I get to heaven. But CAN I give up kit kats?? Can I let go of my love for a juicy burger? When it comes to vegetarians--sorry if I offend anyone out there--I have a ZERO TOLERANCE policy. Frankly, I think vegetarianism is AGAINST the will of God. The way I see it is that if God had intended for us to be vegetarians, he wouldn't have invented the fatted calf. So, anyway. This is just something that's been keeping me up at night. Vote on my poll and let me know what you think.

15 comments:

  1. There's a lot of talk about manna in the Bible but don't forget that there were some people who got to eat raw meat that Heavenly Father made taste good. So maybe some kind of beef jerky? That's something to look forward to.

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  2. Jerky would be ok with me. I usually cook my meat until it looks like jerky anyway.

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  3. I remember there was a futuristic show back in the 80's where the people push a couple buttons on a microwave like machine and three seconds later they got perfectly prepared steak and potatoes. Maybe it was Buck Rogers? Anyway, that's how I imagine it will be. Man, this pregnancy is making you think about some really random stuff! I love it (smile).

    I hope Holden feels better soon. And don't feel too bad, it can happen even if you are watching them (I've got a good story about that one - maybe I'll e-mail ya).

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  4. So...some sort of space-age freeze-dried version of steak? Is this what you're telling me?

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  5. I think it will be all tofu all the time. Kidding, that's the telestial! I think we won't need it, but we'll get to eat all we want. And it will all be the best-tasting possible. And we'll be perfect so we won't gain weight. But we'll only see each others as we truly are so it won't matter if we're fat. All that unconditional love, etc. It won't be heaven if there are no Peanut Butter M&M's. PERIOD!

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  6. If there isn't steak, it won't be heaven, I say.

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  7. I think maybe it'll be like on star trek, where you get a real steak, it's just not coming from a piece of animal. All the molecules and everything are authentic, real 100% Grade A USDA Beef. But there won't have to be animals that die to produce it, it'll just be made by waving a wand (so to speak) and voila, steak. No prep time will be nice, too, eh?

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  8. We will eat with our minds--not unlike what I do whenever I'm not eating with a fork--but it will be delicious and satisfying, and there will be no dishes to wash. I'm signing up now.

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  9. Those that have attained a higher plane of consciousness will have figured out eating is a waste of time. Eating is over rated. It is a physical thing. In Mormon culture eating is the vise because the others are off limits. DMP

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  10. I think that the whole lion laying down with the lamb means that we'll be able to eat the lions and all the other carnivores as well. Lion sirloin, anyone?

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  11. I'm with the star trek replicator idea, however I don't really think we'll need food, but I hope we'll still be able to eat it if we want. Or maybe we can have those everlasting chewing gum like they had in Willy Wonka (the one with Gene Wilder, we'll still get all the flavor we want...

    also, I would like to invite you to my blog, but I don't have your email address, I'm at wathy_kathy@hotmail.com.

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  12. How can it even be heaven if there is not delicious food? That doesn't even make sense.

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  13. Jesus ate fish and honeycomb after he was resurrected. I hope that means I can have steak and chocolate after I am! I found your blog from Jenny's =).

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  14. I am reminded of a Deep Thought I once heard, "After you die, if you're given the choice between 'heaven' and 'pie heaven', choose 'pie heaven'. It might be a trick, but if not, Mmmm Mmmm!"

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  15. i think the fatted calf line just said it all. there has to be food. there just has to be. when i think about all the years i've put into becoming a good cook i just think that all that knowledge has got to be useful once i too wear the long white robe.

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