You know, every day some one asks me "Carly, how on earth do you take care of three kids, teach writing, and still have time to blog and look so pretty?" I usually try to act coy when such questions are posed to me, but I have finally decided to unleash my secret. It's not so hard to do all I do and still look so good and write so well, and if you follow my routine, maybe some day you can be as "together" as I am.
I wake up at around 7:00 am, when my baby cries. I lie there for a few minutes, then go get her and bring her back to bed with me to eat. This part of the routine is crucial: I never, never, never get out of bed for good until about 7:45. This ensures plenty of beauty rest.
After I get out of bed, I go straight to the kitchen for my power breakfast: some sort of sweet pastry and a healthy dose of what I like to call "brown juice," which consists of a special blend of carbonated water, caramel color, aspartame, phosphoric acid, potassium benzoate (to protect taste), natural flavors, citric acid, and just a dash of caffeine. Everyone in my household swears by my power breakfast, and I even have my three-year-old hooked on the goodness of the juice. I never cook breakfast for my loved ones on a week day. As part of my strict self-reliance regimen, my children learned early on how to get their own poptarts.
After, or while I am, eating, I do a cursory check of last night's blogs and see if anyone has commented on my latest post. During nap and "structured movie time," I take my half hour shower, and spend my usual hour in front of the mirror. A blemish is unacceptable, so it takes me a while to cover each one up. It takes several products to make me look this good. One of my favorite products is Spackle, found in the paint and dry wall sections of most hardware stores.
By 11:00 am, I'm out the door, list in hand, two girls in tow, on my way to my downtown office (Walmart).
Sometimes I vary the routine a little bit, like with a trip to McDonalds for breakfast, but this is pretty much how I start the day. Health and discipline are of the utmost importance to me.
Indeed, a blemish is unacceptable. I'm hoping to (some day) not have any so I can actually leave the house, list in hand.
ReplyDeleteWow, I feel like you have just unlocked all of the deep dark secrets of the world - Pandora's box, if you will.
ReplyDeleteI always wondered how you did it. What a way to start! I've had it wrong all these years. No wonder I've had such problems getting going in the morning. Some mornings I don't get dressed until 9:30 or so. Oh well, it's not too late to turn over a new leaf. Good thing Holden and Hazel are so well tranined, Michael also. I especially like the spackle tip.
ReplyDeleteMmm.. "brown juice" rules!
ReplyDeleteSpackle? Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteSpackle: it's a Good Thing
ReplyDeleteWow, you have totally de-mystified yourself. I felt encouraged to nibble on a chocolate covered biscotti after reading this and it's only 10am. Feeling almost as slouchy as you now!
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up! When are we going to get together?
ReplyDeleteAs my friend Lighting McQueen would say "you're livin' the dream".
ReplyDeleteGenius.
ReplyDeleteSpackle just might be my answer.
Hmm...Brown juice is a Good Thing. I loved seeing you...I'm glad you had fun at the beach. See you this summer!
ReplyDeleteI didn't know "brown juice" was allowed before noon! Hmmm, good to know...
ReplyDeleteSometimes I do the brown juice before I do anything else. It's really the only humane way to start a day if you ask me. Thanks for letting me know you are reading my blog. I love finding out about readers and I love finding new hilarious stuff to read, such as your blog. Yay, another way to waste my time!
ReplyDelete