Thursday, January 13, 2011

On Snow and Cold

You know what I hate? When people who live in Rexburg act put upon and shocked by snow. Hello? It's REXBURG. What do you expect? These days, when I ask someone how they are doing, I just brace myself for a loooong complaint session about the weather:
"Well, I WOULD be all right, if there weren't aNOTHER layer of snow on my driveway."
"I THINK I am okay, except for the snow and cold."
"It's nasty outside."
"Just barely holding on till Spring."

Etc., etc., etc. I have learned to just go along with it. I nod my head in concern, utter some "mmhmm"s and try to change the subject. I never tell them the truth, that I LOVE snow. That what they consider "nasty" I consider a winter wonderland. That snow=more water for farmers=more potatoes come fall=bags of free potatoes given out at church=mounds of velvety mashed potatoes. Next time someone complains about snow, they should consider the direct connection between snow and mashed potatoes and keep their mouths shut (if they can keep their mouths from watering at the thought of mashed potatoes, that is, mwaha).

It's really weird, you know, because, what do they expect? It's Idaho! It's Rexburg! Allow me to let you in on a little secret: it snows in Rexburg. A lot. And the other thing? It's super cold here. But you know what I love about cold? Layers! Get yourself a balaclava, a pair of insulated Carhartt coveralls, and a sturdy pair of Sorrels. Learn to knit hats and scarves on a loom and completely outfit yourself. Then maybe you will be ready for the cold, and don't be surprised when it comes. Because it will.

I can understand a little shock and awe from a person in Florida who is suddenly grappling with sub zero weather and 3 feet of snow outside. That is justified, because you don't expect that from Florida. But dudes, get a clue! You live in a cold place. Stop fighting it and get yourself a big, beefy SUV with four wheel drive and studded snow tires. Will it cost $100 to fill it up? Yes. But will it keep you safe on the frozen, icy roads? Yes. And then maybe you won't have to be sad about going places in the snow.

You could also stay inside. Last year at this time I had a broken foot and was obsessed with Battlestar Galactica. I stayed inside watching my show for over a month. And you know what? I loved it. Because every time the heater kicked in to combat the single-digit temps outside, it sounded a little like the whooshing sound of the radar aboard the Galactica and when I heard it, I smiled to myself, thinking about Lee Adama and Cylons and the final five, et al. You could do that, too. You could be creative and make the best of the snow and cold. Because it ain't going away. No matter how much you call it nasty and hate it.

Poor snow. All these complainers remind me of deadbeat dads. They like their kids during Christmastime and when they are a novelty, but the minute that excitement wears off, it's back to your mother's house. How can we pray for snow, dream of a white Christmas, race outside to revel in the first snowstorm of the year, and then turn our backs as soon as Christmas is over? Winter lasts a lot longer than the month of December around here, people. Let's have some compassion and take responsibility for our seasons.

So next time I hear someone start ranting about the injustice of snow in January, I am just going to tell them to hold that thought till March, when things really start to suck around here.


  1. I could really go for a mound of velvety potatoes right now

  2. Living in Chicago I hear a lot of the same complaints. We should not be shocked by it anymore. Love the deadbeat dad analogy. Perfect.

    I once heard some saying that I think is of Nordic origin that (I'll paraphrase), there's no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothes. Amen.

  3. I'm sick of the complaining too. Another kind of complaining I hate is when people tell me they are sick or have been sick or their kids were sick. I seriously don't care at all or sympathize at all or think the duration and type of someone's sickness is the least bit interesting unless it is an actual disease. SPARE ME.

  4. As the husband of the fiber arts goddess, I'm helping you avoid a social blunder. You kniit with needles and weave with a loom. Just trying to help out.

    Bring on the snow! We don't get nearly enough and Oregonians are wimps.

  5. In this ONE, rare, unusual, miraculous, FREAKISH case, DMP, I am actually not mistaken. There are such things as knitting looms. Go here to see: They are for cheaters like me who don't know how to knit with needles.

  6. Careful talking about knitting looms around fiber snobs. Wood needles are the only proper way to knit. Or so I'm told.

  7. Thanks for the tip about fiber snobs. I will be careful not to throw around the term "plastic knitting loom" so carelessly again. You never know who might be reading....

  8. AHEM...The plastic knitting looms are really great!!! Dear Mr. Engineer-who-thinks-he-knows-through-marriage, you can knit with a loom! You can knit with whatever strikes your fancy!! Carly, I got your back!!

  9. I love your analogy of the deadbeat dads. I don't mind the snow and cold THAT much, but the thing that's hardest for me about winter is the SHORT days. I need more sunlight!!

  10. You definitely need the gas-guzzling SUV to take you to the Mav so you can have your daily Diet Coke, you know, since you don't have any in the house!

  11. Once again you have eloquently written what I often feel about others attitudes toward the weather.

    I think winter is beautiful too.

    Thanks to Robyn for the Nordic saying. I'm going to start using that when people complain. It does get old.

  12. Amen to your rant. I'm going to substitute the word "rain" for "snow" and publish it here in Western Oregon. Of course it rains here! What did you think?!

  13. I don't know about looms or knitting but I do know about weather. I don't mind the rain here in western Oregon but like it better at 50 plus degrees. It's not as much fun in the 40's. At least we don't have to shovel it. I like the new format. Happy winter! (vitamin D3 helps the winter blues.)