Friday, October 28, 2011

What I Wish I'd Known: The High School Edition

Oversize sweatshirts are ugly.

Oversize t shirts with the sleeves rolled up: also ugly.

The popular people of today are the pathetic has-beens/self-absorbed bloggers of tomorrow.

This whole internet thing? It's going to catch on in a big way.

A boy that is nice to you and with whom you are friends does not a life-long soul mate make.

Most people won't understand if you get a "Meg Ryan in French Kiss" haircut.

A little bit of blush, mascara, and eye shadow look okay with a whole lot of concealer and powder.

You don't have to be in love with every remotely likeable male teacher you meet.

Don't go to Disneyland: stay home and go to the Valentine's Day dance with that cute, curly-haired boy who is a year younger than you.

Don't under-do Prom.

Don't over-do Senior Dinner Dance with a shawl, gloves, and a rhinestone anklet worn OVER your sheer black pantyhose and strappy sandals.

Don't feel too bad if you aren't on the Seminary Council. Seminary Council is for kiss-ups and cheeseballs.

Don't participate in girls' choice dances if you want to maintain a modicum of dignity.

Weezer and Beck have staying power; Blind Melon: not so much.

Those black boots you bought at DI thinking they were combat boots are actually cowboy roping boots. You can tell because they have fringe on them. They can be found in the Wrangler section of Cal-Ranch. Don't wear them and think you are pulling off a Delores O'riordan look.

People will tell you that the "real world" is better than high school. And it sort of is, except once you become a mom in the real world, you will start having to deal with a lot of other jerky moms and jerky people and it will sort of feel like high school all over again. But when you are a mom, at least you can use your kids as an excuse, so look forward to that.

99.9% of the things that are causing you pain and suffering are all in your head.

Some day there will be plenty of boys out there who want to kiss you, especially once you stop wearing your retainer with the fake tooth on it.

Don't buy a fake leather, seventies style jacket.

Don't make Bono your style icon. You are a girl. He is a man. So you have the same forehead! That isn't something you should embrace!

A shared love of Neil Diamond with a teacher does not guarantee a good letter of recommendation from him. You'd be surprised!


  1. I LOVE this post. Neil Diamond Forever!!

  2. I don't recall you underdoing prom or overdoing SDD...of course, I'm a typical guy and typically don't notice things like that.

  3. Who's the cute curly-haired boy?

    I'd forgotten your retainer and any oversize ugly things you wore. I do remember your haircut and still think it was cute.

    Ah, to high school.

  4. I miss that rainbow retainer with the fake tooth.