Tuesday, April 17, 2012

I'm Ashamed That I Once Loved "Titanic."

All this hubbub about the 3 D release of "Titanic" has me doing some serious cringing. You see, I have this secret shame from my past that involves me seeing that movie like 5 times in the theater, crying at the end, dragging a pre-mission boy to it, liking the Celine Dion song ("My Heart Will Go On"), and becoming so obsessed with the real Titanic that I read tons of books about it and even cried a little bit at the museum exhibit.

I mean, I watched the now-ridiculous "I'm the king of the world!" scene without a trace of irony, discomfort, or humor in my heart:

I watched that scene and probably thought to myself, "that Leonardo DiCaprio surely is the king of the world!"

How can I live with myself?? In my defense, I was a girl of 19 at the time, a freshman in college, full of romantic ideals, and hope for the future. I felt the sting of saying goodbye to a missionary, but comforted myself in the knowledge that "my heart will go on." Ah, me. How humiliating.

I am not sure if I could even stand the movie if I watched it now, fifteen years, 2 engagements, 11 years of marriage, a masters degree, 4 children, and 2 pants sizes later. I think it would just make me embarrassed and uncomfortable. The romantic ideals of my 19-year-old self have given way to the realism of my 33-year-old self. And you have to believe that this is no loss. It is a very very very good thing, friends. It's hard to believe that anyone older than 19 could take this movie seriously, come to think of it.

Will you be seeing it? How about that famous painting scene in 3D? Will you cry at the end? Does the movie have staying power? I'd like to know, since I am staying far away from the movie theater until all traces of it are gone.

Another movie-related thing that makes me cringe is when I remember the time I told a group of 60 graduate students that "Frequency" is my favorite movie. Not "Shadowlands," not "Schindlers List," not "Life is Beautiful," not even a respectably ironic "Tommy Boy." No, I said a movie about time travel through CB radio is my favorite movie of all time to a group of pretentious English master students. CRINGE!


  1. I wish I wrote this. It is so true and hilarious. I think we were blinded by all the bellos in Frequency (Dennis Quaid & Jim Caviezel) and the kitchen dance scene to "Suspicious Minds."

    I think I can beat you at this game though. I remember sitting on the floor in my sophomore apt listening to "The Secret Garden" by Bruce Springsteen--the one with the inserted dialogue from Jerry Maguire. ILY. You complete me.

  2. Frequency is a very great movie. And the Titanic exhibit was totally moving. I stand by all this crap.

  3. I was the same exact way as you with Titanic- although I was 12 so maybe I had more of an excuse :) I was absolutely in love with Leo DiCaprio for at least a year after that movie!!

  4. I'm afraid we all have moments like that! Let's just say that sometimes the fact that time is linear is a good thing. :)
    My lesson learned is this: don't let Hollywood manipulate me like that again.