1. The Quarry or any other rock climbing place: no explanation necessary.
2. Hot Topic: I used to go in there all the time, but then I got married and had a kid, and, Kacy was right: strollers really don't fit in with leopard print lingerie and fishnets.
3. The posh Shops at Riverwoods: When the only thing you can afford is a spatula at Williams Sonoma, people look at you like they know....
4. Pet hospitals: I leaf through the lovingly-made scrapbooks full of cats named "Worthington III" and feel guilty about locking our cat, Headcheese, outside of my house all winter long.
5. Spas: I want to be a spa-attending person, I really, really do. But I feel so out of place there because of my split ends and my neglected eyebrows, and well, you've seen my legs.
6. Health Food Stores: they know I'm a fraud the moment I walk in, carrying my leather bag, chatting on my cell phone, fixing my makeup in a mirror, stepping on people's Birkentsock-clad toes with my spiked heels--I just exude all things synthetic.
7. The work room for all English Deparment faculty: people look at me like I'm a student and I don't belong there. Plus, I cower every time one of my old professors walks in and PRETENDS he/she doesn't know who I am. As if...
8. Nordstrom: unless it is the discount rack, I feel way out of place here. Unlike a place like Mervyns (where I totally fit in) the clothes are arranged according to designers' "collections." I just keep wandering around looking for the "misses" signs feeling under-dressed.
9. In the English part time faculty newsletter in which exceptional faculty, their teaching methods and recent publications, are highlighted (unless you count a blog as a major publication).
10. Ski resorts: no explanation necessary.
Places where I DO Belong:
3. Antique stores
4. Cozy Clothing
5. My couch
7. Fast food restaurants
8. The internet
9. A cruise ship at the all-you-can-eat buffet
10. My bed, even more so when there's memory foam on it.