Friday, February 4, 2005

Dry-Heaving at a Baby Shower in Delta

Last weekend I attended a baby shower for a cousin in Delta--incidentally, we stopped at a farm store on the way there to buy Holden some pants (a potty training moment occured in the car) and he wore Carhartt overalls

for the first time in a year. It was a HUGE milestone for my sweatpants-loving kid. $26 well spent, I'd say, even though he hasn't worn them since.

Anyway, there were games, cake, sandwiches, a quilt--the usual fare. Yet there was also something very unusual, something that made me want to vomit, actually. Maybe some of you have heard of this game before--heck, maybe even some of you have PLAYED this game at your own showers before. It is called the Dirty Diaper game. My cousin placed seven newborn-sized diapers on the table and we were each given a pencil and paper. Our task was to guess the contents of each diaper. The contents were melted candybars, and we had to (by any means necessary) determine the name of the candybar inside each diaper. Can you imagine how a melted white chocolate Crunch bar might look inside a diaper? With a wicked look in her eyes, my cousin said "you can taste them if you want. Get in real close--put your nose up to it!" Everyone around me and my mother guffawed and howled with laughter. We exhanged furtive looks and plunged in.

Even though the smell was pleasant, just the sight of the lumpy white substance of the Crunch bar was enough to make my stomach convulse. There was also a Butterfinger, a Kit Kat, a Baby Ruth (particularly gross), and an Almond Joy. I had to take a lot of deep breaths and psych myself out to smell each diaper and guess what kind of candy was inside. I got five out of seven, by the way. Not too shabby; then again, I AM a candybar expert. I was the only one in the room that had to repress vomit, however, and this, I believe, is due to all the vast experience I have with changing diapers. It was like Pavlov's dogs: the moment I opened up the heavy diaper and peaked inside, it was like an instinct to convulse. Three years of diaper changing conditioned me to feel nauseous, even in the presence of chocolate. You'd think I might be used to it, and unscathed by even the most disgusting diaper. But I'm not. Sorry I didn't think to take any pictures.


  1. I wish there were pics! ITL at pavlov's dogs. ycm.

  2. I've heard about this game. Just the thought makes me ill. But then again - Josh's diapers frequently look like a melted Baby Ruth.

  3. I am EXTREMELY glad you didn’t take pictures… gross. Are you able to eat these candy bars now? Or do you picture them melted down in a diaper?

  4. Well, this came just in the nick of time. I had never heard of such a game. I can only imagine your mom and you shifting uncomfortably. I'll make sure Jana knows...there'll be no poop-mock-up games at MY shower.

  5. I wretch and gag frequently (actual vomiting is rare) and can't believe that people think that this is a good game.

    It does, however, remind me of a skit from the Chapelle Show.

    That made me gag, too.

  6. Why do people want to do such gross things? Really...I dry heave at the drop of a hat....

  7. I have never heard of or played that game. Sometimes words just can't express how grateful one can be!!

    My hope is that the game will not make it's way to California...if it hasn't already. I'd better look into this...