The Marcy Dibbleblotts 500

So I'm just sittin' here in my office, NOT grading papers, NOT planning lessons. Instead, I am eating a chocolate malt with oreos in it (best combination in town), listening to the Napoleon Dynamite soundtrack, blogging, and missing Marcy Dibbleblotts. Her stay was brief, but packed with the hilarity that always accompanies Marcy everywhere she goes. What can I say? With Marcy, there's truly never a dull moment. Here are the highlights from her weekend visit:

1. Watching NASCAR--and watching Marcy emote while Jimmie Johnson went from 10th place to 2nd place in just 3 laps. Not to brag, but Marcy really knows a lot about tires, too: whether it's better to get all 4 or only 2 replaced on "pit row," etc.

2. Buying a pineapple hot pad in Target and receiving severe judgment from the cashier, who made comments on every item, mistaking a wedding gift bag that said "I DO" for a wedding gift bag that said "100." "100!??" she said, "oh, wait. 'I DO.' Which one of you gets to say this?" Then as we left: "you'd better take a gift receipt for the pineapple hot pad we've all grown so attached to. I don't know if anybody will want it..."

3. Eating a delicious lunch with Carrie Ann and Todd, Kacy and Christian, and Mike (my husband), and simultaneously learning about leg waxing and hair growth cycles.

4. Performing an emergency high-speed right turn upon seeing purses for sale in a makeshift store in the parking lot by Shirley's Bakery, buying several purses, then having this conversation with the Chinese lady cashier:
Me: "I don't have any cash. Can you take a check?
Chinese Lady: "I don't know. Do you want to bounce the check?"
Me: "The check will be for four dollars. I am pretty sure I won't bounce it, nor do I really WANT to bounce it."
Lady: "well, sometimes people bounce checks."
Marcy, intervening: "Here's five dollars, Cletis."

5. Marcy getting the longest manicure in the history of the world from a man who grunted and mumbled to himself. During the course of the 'cure, we finished watching a movie and got half way into another one on TBS. (Something with Johnny Depp dealing drugs?) Marcy also got her finger cut but was a brave little trooper. When it was finally over, in a cruel twist of irony, Marcy banged two nails on a lamp accidentally. We decided that 8 out of 10 nails was good enough and got out of there immediately.

6. Receiving an unexpected visit from a person who Marcy didn't want to see and had purposely not told about her visit. When we discovered who it was that knocked on the door, I panicked, trying to throw a blanket over Marcy in her chair. Marcy was a little more cool-headed than I, and thought to run into my bedroom and close the door. She was never found. Shooh.

7. Spending several hours both dissing Oprah for her wack amounts of cheddar and reading through my slang flashcards (prize for winning Marcy's "Name That Song" contest).

8. Watching Holden have a meltdown and go berserck at the Lehi Albertsons.

9. Making good on my promise to "cook the biggest, hugest meal on earth" when we got home from church.

10. Going through Marcy's "notecard therapy" and resolving to say "I am a good teacher" three times to myself in the mirror every morning.

Ah, me. I miss her so much.