Pregnancy Myth #1: "Pregnancy lasts nine months." WRONG. Pregnancy lasts 40 WEEKS. Doesn't 40 weeks=10 months??? Who is perpetuating this myth?? Why do we all assume it is only nine months long? I think it is a male conspiracy to keep women in the dark. But all we have to do is THE MATH. One month is 4 weeks, right? 40/4=10, doesn't it? 9 months would be 36 weeks, right? Someone help me out, here. I feel like I'm taking CRAZY PILLS!
Pregnancy Myth #2: "When you are pregnant, you have a special glow." WRONG. The only thing that comes close to a glow is the thin layer of sweat that stays on your face all day long as you huff and puff around like the hoss that you are.
Pregnancy Myth #3: "You shouldn't feel bad about your disappearing waistline." MAYBE NOT, but you probably WILL feel bad about the alarming growth of your arms, face, legs, and back side. You may even go to the drugstore to buy "Sublime Slim" by Loreal to rub on your thighs at night.
Pregnancy Myth #4: "Pregnancy is a time to get lots of sleep because when the baby comes, your sleeping days are over." WRONG. At the time of conception, you can pretty much wave "bye bye" to a good night's sleep for at least two years.
Pregnancy Myth #5: "When you buy maternity clothes, buy them in the size you are normally (such as S, M, L, or 6, 8, 10, etc.)." WRONG. By the end of my last pregnancy, they couldn't even MAKE pants big enough for me, and I think I am headed in that direction right now.
Pregnancy Myth #6: "It's great to be pregnant because you get lots of attention from people. It makes you feel special." WRONG, unless you are one of those sickos that likes strangers touching your stomach in Walmart.
Pregnanyc Myth #7: "There's no reason to dress in frumpy clothes when you are pregnant. You can stay hip like Gwyneth Paltrow and Kate Hudson did." WRONG. It's hard to dress hip when the only comfortable thing you own is a pair of tattered sweatpants. FACT: wearing capris when you are pregnant makes you look like either Tweedle Dee or Tweedle Dum.
Hope this will dispel any misconceptions that my uninitiated readers may have had.
Cletis: I think you know how I [used to] feel about pregnant peeps. But I have changed. For real.
ReplyDeleteWill look into Sublime Slim ASAP. Don't waste your time with "Thin Thighs" and I think you know what I mean.
Yes, I hope that you will blog all about your forray into thin thighs.
ReplyDeleteAlso, have you ever watched "Mythbusters" on TLC? Skewedview (sadly absent from the blog world recently due to back surgery and internet problems) LOVES it. Maybe you could be on it.
ReplyDeleteOh, yes. I have totally watched Mythbusters--mainly because Mike is all "into" it.
ReplyDeleteHmmm. . . maybe I WILL have that 4th baby.
ReplyDeletePsyche!
And people wonder why I'm not going to try for a girl!! 'Nuff said!
ReplyDeletePS. Forgot to say that all the guys in the house Love Myth busters! I just want to know what's with the funky beret?
ReplyDeleteYes, it seems like a penchant for wearing berets and a love of blowing things up would be mutually exclusive, but not on TLC. Incidentally, does it really matter if the last scene in "Jaws" is total bunk?
ReplyDeleteI cleaned out my closet yesterday and realized maternity clothes were consuming about 1/3 of my hanging space. I set them aside and told my husband I was going to need a box to store them in the garage. "Why don't you just get rid of them?" he asked. OK, so neither of us have any idea if we're going to have any more children. But, the fact is that those clothes are UGLY, no matter how cute or stylish I THOUGHT they were when I purchased them. And if I DO have a baby a couple years down the road those clothes will be about 4 years out of style! Do you need more maternity clothes? :) 'Cause I've got this big box...
ReplyDeleteI hope it's okay if this goes on my fridge... in front of the food. (I'm not pregnant, but this might work as birth control.)
ReplyDeleteSuzie,
ReplyDeleteWho could refuse such a tantalizing offer? I have this big box of ugly, out-of-style maternity clothes that I will never wear again even if I had to....Want them? Sign me up for the rejects that Carly doesn't want. Oh wait, I'm not pregnant.
Yes, Suzie Petunia, as tempting as a box of ugly maternity clothes sounds, I will have to pass. I currently have dozens of boxes full of ugly things just waiting to be unpacked in my new house.
ReplyDeleteI do love Mythbusters, but I love Carly more.
ReplyDeleteShe's the hottest pregnant lady I've ever seen!
Oh Carly, I can't stop laughing about the effects of capris on a pregnant lady. What a PERFECT description.
ReplyDeleteI thought that I looked okay, at least socially passable, as a pregnant lady (in XL clothes and all) until a lady in my ward told me last week that she had never seen a woman look so pregnant and so huge and so miserable as I did. Huh? What a let down. And now that I'm trying to get rid of all of those extra deposits o' fat I'm really feeling number 3.
I just watched "Alice in Wonderland". I really really agree with the capri statement. I actually really really agree with all above statements.
ReplyDeletehttp://articles.health.msn.com/id/100108281
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