Pregnancy Myth #1: "Pregnancy lasts nine months." WRONG. Pregnancy lasts 40 WEEKS. Doesn't 40 weeks=10 months??? Who is perpetuating this myth?? Why do we all assume it is only nine months long? I think it is a male conspiracy to keep women in the dark. But all we have to do is THE MATH. One month is 4 weeks, right? 40/4=10, doesn't it? 9 months would be 36 weeks, right? Someone help me out, here. I feel like I'm taking CRAZY PILLS!
Pregnancy Myth #2: "When you are pregnant, you have a special glow." WRONG. The only thing that comes close to a glow is the thin layer of sweat that stays on your face all day long as you huff and puff around like the hoss that you are.
Pregnancy Myth #3: "You shouldn't feel bad about your disappearing waistline." MAYBE NOT, but you probably WILL feel bad about the alarming growth of your arms, face, legs, and back side. You may even go to the drugstore to buy "Sublime Slim" by Loreal to rub on your thighs at night.
Pregnancy Myth #4: "Pregnancy is a time to get lots of sleep because when the baby comes, your sleeping days are over." WRONG. At the time of conception, you can pretty much wave "bye bye" to a good night's sleep for at least two years.
Pregnancy Myth #5: "When you buy maternity clothes, buy them in the size you are normally (such as S, M, L, or 6, 8, 10, etc.)." WRONG. By the end of my last pregnancy, they couldn't even MAKE pants big enough for me, and I think I am headed in that direction right now.
Pregnancy Myth #6: "It's great to be pregnant because you get lots of attention from people. It makes you feel special." WRONG, unless you are one of those sickos that likes strangers touching your stomach in Walmart.
Pregnanyc Myth #7: "There's no reason to dress in frumpy clothes when you are pregnant. You can stay hip like Gwyneth Paltrow and Kate Hudson did." WRONG. It's hard to dress hip when the only comfortable thing you own is a pair of tattered sweatpants. FACT: wearing capris when you are pregnant makes you look like either Tweedle Dee or Tweedle Dum.
Hope this will dispel any misconceptions that my uninitiated readers may have had.