10. TVs on the block are so loud, you don't even need to buy cable.
9. Roads practically deserted after 4 pm "early bird special" rush.
8. Home Owners Association politics more intense than the 2004 presidential election.
7. Ambulance call buttons in every bathroom.
6. Mysterious rules like "Rocks in yard not to exceed size of Gladys Stum's goiter" keep us on our toes.
5. Discounted hip replacement surgery with proof of residence.
4. Pool practically deserted during non-"adult-only" hours--except for the life-sustaining cocoons and friendly, life-sustaining aliens:
3. Pick-up games of bridge, backgammon, and mah jong.
2. Hardest drug pushed in the neighborhood is Saw Palmetto
1. Sign a twelve month lease, get a free pace maker!