Thursday, September 15, 2005

Happy Birthday, Hoss

Roses are red
I’m much older, and wise
But I’d give all that up
To have my 19-year-old thighs

There once was a girl named Carly
Who had eating habits like Chris Farley (RIP)
When she turned twenty-seven
She just thanked heaven
That her blog turned out so gnarly

Roses are red
I got a birthday card
With an ad for orthapedic shoe inserts
To support all this extra lard

There once was a girl named Cletus
In whose belly there was a fetus
Her brithday has come
So, come on, all you bums
Fly out to Tucson and meet us

Stuck on you like hump on grandma,
Love
Yourself

26 comments:

  1. Happy Happy Birthday, Carly!

    Have a wonderful day
    at chick-fil-a.

    That's about the best I can come up with. :) Love you smuch!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Carly,
    I'm sure it will be a birthday to remember, thanks to you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Carly, it's your birthday?? well, happy birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Marcy, I understand your special day is coming up in 2 months. I always suspected you were a Sagittarius.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yes, I DO have one coming up, myself, Carly. But that should stay between us Virgos & Sagittarians. Do you feel embarrassed that you are a Virgo, or are you proud?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Marcy,
    I'm glad Emily is reading and enjoying the blog drama.

    I would like to point out that she has made a few incorrect assumptions, not only about me, but also when she said that she could "leave my mark on a group of people who has no reference for who I am or where I come from." Think again, Emily-in-Phoenix-using-Netscape-Navigator-on-a-Mac-with-a-1028 x 768-screen-resolution

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hmmm, so interesting. Her browser of choice is Safari, but close enough. And it is a bit disconcerting that we can see just how embarrassingly frequently she checks our blogs. But you remain an enigma, and she must read on to try to figure out what I got wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Is Emily her real name?September 15, 2005 at 8:04 AM

    Aha! No twin sister. Just an older sister. And "hoss" is likely not to be taken literally. How is_she_ doin'?

    ReplyDelete
  9. The most interesting thing about Carly is that the government pays for him to alter the steering wheel and seats in her car because she is technically a hoss.

    Happy Birthday Carly, I didn't forget--I just lost 5 lbs this weekend to the stomach flu (not to rub the weight loss in your face or anything)I'll make it up to you somehow.

    So is Carly the hoss who Marcy pretends she can't hear clearly on her phone and hangs up on? Interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  10. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Is this "Carly" a man or a woman? Help, I'm totally lost here.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Marcy: are you kidding? I'm very proud to be a Virgo. If Virgos ran the world, we'd be halfway through the Millenium by now.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Yes, aside from her Virgin sign, Carly is all virgo, I mean woman.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Now that Emily has a decent overview of Carly, the next mystery in this virtual relationship puzzle remains: Why does Kacy have so many sons?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Everybody hates me and my comments are too loud in Sunday School.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Emily: haven't you ever heard that "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery?" When are you going to get a blog btw?

    ReplyDelete
  17. Emily,
    I just wanted to say thanks for the heads up on the Tucson Mall. I just got back from a mad crunk maternity shopping spree and I kept thinking "thank you, Emily...whoever you are"

    ReplyDelete
  18. I had a terribly difficult childhood and I hate myself.

    Happy Birthday Carly!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I'll probably never get a blog, because I sound like a dork in all the things I write, but I'll send you a Christmas card.

    Carly, I'm glad you enjoyed. I gave you Tucson Mall for your birthday.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I love this poem. Especially the eating like Chris Farley and blog so gnarly stanza. Happy birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  21. The previous post by michael, wasn't from this michael. Although keep posting michael because it makes me look like I'm reading and posting, even when I'm not.

    Happy Birthday Carly!

    ReplyDelete