Friday, November 10, 2006

An Apology to that Elusive Temptress, Madam Weather:

Dear Weather,

I've never really been interested in you. In fact, for most of my life I have felt that the discussion of you was rather (I hate to admit it) dull, that when people turned to a discussion of the weather, it meant that the conversation was sliding and in serious need of some sort of lively, baudy anecdote. For this, I am truly sorry. I know I drove you away by thinking you were boring and tedious. But now I NEED YOU BACK.

All this sunshine, in the words of Oscar the Grouch, "is spoiling my rain!" I need a cloud! I need a drizzle! I need it to stop being 80 degrees outside! I know better than to ask for snow, but I would like to be able to wear a long sleeved shirt. Where are you? Poor Hazel was a sweaty mess in her Halloween costume:

Would you deny this poor child the chance to bundle up comfortably?

Most people here in Tucson are calling the days without a trace of you, dear weather, "beautiful," "perfect," "the reason why we love Arizona," etc. But not me. I have sunk low into a pit of despair because you have abandoned me. I lurk inside my house all day, shunning that perfect blue sky and the warmth of the sun on my back, both of which I have come to detest because of their continual, monotonous presence. How I long for a blustery day! Come back to me, in whatever form you choose: a wind storm, thunder, rain, CLOUDS! Force me to wear a jacket outside, I don't mind. As long as I can have some of you in my life again, I will be happy to suffer a little inconvenience. Let it be unseasonably cold!

Please come back to me.

With deepest regrets and apologies,

If I hear one more person talk about how beautiful it is right now, I will do something drastic!


  1. If I might paraphrase my good friend Lehi, if they ain't no bad weather, they cain't be no good weather neither. So, you's livin' in a place where the whether is a thing of naught.

  2. Awww man. the weather is a thing of not, not the whether.

  3. Awww man. the weather is a thing of naught, not a thing of not. Dang. All my comedic genius is ruined now. Ruined!

  4. I feel your pain. I am hoping it will be chilly in TN when we go for Thankgiving. Although if I were where you are, I would be working on my tan right now.

  5. You are so right, and I sympathize. We have had about a week of rain, and when the sun peaked out today it was glorious! Had forgotten how nice it could be in only a week. And, the converse is true also. During August, I longed for a cloud. I love them. I'll have to loan you my cloud book sometime.

  6. It's like Cinderella said, you don't know what you got til it's gone. They say it better than any words I might use to say it.

  7. I'm sorry for your total lack of seasons. GA has no snow, but it does have a definite fall/winter season, as well as a summer that is the closest thing to hell I hope to ever experience. We'll see.

    I hope you get some inclement weather soon!