A lot of people don't know this, but the best music to listen to while you are canning tomatoes is The White Stripes--please don't bring up the fact that they have split up. I'm not ready to discuss it yet.
Once I went to a haunted house and they played "Sympathy for the Devil" by the Rolling Stones as background music. I know Mick Jagger is no saint, but is that song supposed to be terrifying? Because I like it. And it really ruined the scary effect of the strobe lights and chain saws.
I bought an "eyebrow tamer" and cut the devil out of my eyebrow today. Awesome. How long will it take to heal before I can get them waxed? Now they are just hairy AND bloody.
Beck is best for canning peaches.
It makes me really nervous when people remember me from my high school days.
I know this is embarrassing, but I really would take an adult ballet class.
Doctors can really lay the guilt on thick when you find out (via x ray) that your 3 year old is super constipated. It's like, "Okay, I get it! No more string cheese and chocolate milk!" Sheesh.
If you want to make the cashier at Walgreens smile, make a joke about suppositories, preferably something like "we already put a treat in the cart, Ruby, some nice suppositories."
I'm starting to relax my "No Halloween Stuff Until October" and my "No Christmas Stuff Until December" rules. Nothing could be more freeing.
I'm not going to complain about being pregnant. I'm not going to gnash my teeth and wail and rant and stuff. This is what I have to tell myself every day, while I am stuffing myself into some stretchy pants.
Contrary to popular belief, the best Led Zeppelin song is NOT "Stairway to Heaven" (gag), but is actually "Over the Hills and Far Away." Enough with "Stairway" already! "Stairway" only gets good once the drums start, but then it's too late, and you are too preoccupied contemplating the rumor that the whole song is based on the members of the band selling their souls to the devil. I don't believe they did, but I do believe Jimmy Page is a weirdo.
Sometimes cupcakes at trendy cupcakeries just put too much frosting on. That's all I'm sayin.'
A really awesome song is "The Devil's Right Hand" by Johnny Cash.