The "Bacon Smock" and Other Inventions on the Dockett

I fancy myself a bit of an inventor; my husband thinks he's an inventor, too. We both sit around dreaming up really good ideas. For example, I would like to invent something to wear over your clothes and hair that repels the smell of bacon. You know when you cook bacon, and then you smell like it everywhere you go? I mean, it's like in your hair and your skin, and everything? Well, you don't want to go around letting everyone know that you eat bacon for every meal, now do you? So, I've taken a page from Cosmo Kramer's book and invented the "No Smell, No Tell Bacon Smock." You slide it over your clothes and attach the non-comedogenic bonnet to your head and you can cook all you want. When you are done, just throw the smock and bonnet in the dishwasher.



I also have been thinking real hard about inventing some sort of insert that goes into your furnace and air conditioner that makes your house smell good--alas, I found one at the grocery store. Someone has been spying on me again....



Mike wants to invent what he calls "Mike's Bacon," which is just really, really thick bacon that tastes really, really good. He's looking into some genetically engineered pigs right now. He also wants to start a rock climbing store/hot dog stand called "Beeners and Weeners."



Each of us has independently thought of a dishwasher in which you just throw the dishes (no need for rinsing and organized loading. It takes too much time!) and it does the rest. I've also been wanting to come up with some sort of safe sleep-inducing drug to give to babies. Every night. Also, I'm working out a potty-training drug that your kid takes once a day for a week. At the end of the week, he's potty trained. Who wouldn't want that? I have patents pending on many of these amazing inventions, so don't even think about stealing my ideas.