The following truths have been revealed to me in the last couple of weeks:
1. On a fun-filled trip to Fillmore, UT, Mike suddenly said, "let me give you a brief history of my life: when I was 5 I began twirling baton..."
2. When I was eating at Chick Fil A yesterday a group of young houligans (and I mean HOULIGANS:wearing leopard print spandex pants, lip rings, and acting like little Johnny Rottens in training)walked by me, and said "oh, she's OLD" while looking right at me. I don't know what tipped them off. Was it the pregnant belly? The dry skin? The fact that I was sitting there with a three year old? The forehead wrinkles? I'm sure they were headed for Hot Topic, as opposed to somewhere like the Gap or American Eagle. But one of them had a Bath and Bodyworks bag...
3. My father took me into the living room, where there were three paintings done by my great grandma to choose from. "Take one," he said. So I chose the painting that had been hanging in the living room since I was born. It had always reminded me of the way things looked around here before Ivory Homes and Grandview Farms tore down the forest and built roads and houses through our backyard. "I like this one," I told him, to which he responded "oh, yeah. That one always reminded me of you for some reason." It was a rare moment of tenderness, which caused me to leave immediately (am very uncomfortable with such moments). Afterwards I told my mom which painting I had chosen, and she said "oh, THAT one! Yeah, he has always HATED that painting! It drives him crazy." Well, I guess that explains why it reminds him of me....
4. I got caught in a herd of cattle (well, they were behind the fence) and was afraid for my life. This is an embarrassing truth because I come from a long line of cowboys and farmers. If my grandpa had seen my behavior around those cows, he would have been very disappointed in me. But you don't understand! They were mooing at me, and they were staring at me. They would have charged any moment.
5. Mark Felt is deep throat! Who saw THAT coming? I have always been wishing it were Utah native Bob Bennett.
6. Darth Vader really does fulfill his destiny of being the chosen one and bringing balance to the force, even though it takes him longer than Qui Gon Jin thought. Awesome. Plus, he was conceived by the midichlorians. Even awesomer.
7. Apparently, Holden doesn't love me.
8. In a shocking turn of events, the old people at Grandview Farms actually don't LIKE it when my dog goes to the bathroom on their lawns!
9. After much soul-searching, I have discovered that money actually DOES make me happy.
10. Sometimes I get sick of taking a shower. That doesn't mean that I DON'T shower. I just need to spice up my routine with some washcloth mitts and liquid soap.