In Defense of My Saintliness

So recently I was accused of being the more devout sister by Kacy. Lest you think I am REALLY a Ned Flanders-esque ninny, here's some hard proof that I am no saint, my childish reservations about going to Winchells on Sunday aside:

1. I was actually HOPING that a couple of my students would be kicked out of school--it just means fewer papers for my new intern to grade.

2. I intimidated aforementioned intern to the point of incapacitation the other day with my withering stare.

3. What I lack in sabbath-breaking ability I make up for in diet coke and chocolate consumption.

4. One time, and it WAS the sabbath, mind you, I went into a public bathroom on BYU campus and saw that the VENDING machine was broken. Its contents were scattered all over the floor, still in their wrappers, and in perfectly good condition. It was a smorgasbord of feminine hygiene products! Marcy Dibbleblotts (who I think we can all agree is more devout than any of us) encouraged me not to steal from a bathroom, especially on a Sunday. Did I listen? Did I put down my feminine plunder? Of course not! I was not going to pass up this kind of opportunity.

5. I really like Kid Rock despite myself.

6. I haven't cleaned my house or canned a single peach, pear, or tomato in my entire life.

7. I like to run home and eat entire trays of rice krispy treats on fast Sundays.

8. Last Sunday Hazel bumped her head during our Marriage and Family Relations class (I'm such a rebel, I don't even go to the regular gospel doctrine class). She started to cry, I walked out of the room, out of the church, over to my car, got in, drove home, put her in bed, then went to sleep till church was over. Mike was left alone in the marriage class with a bunch of women.

9. Hazel is crying in her crib right now. I'll get to her as soon as I publish this post.......

10. Holden can't seem to stop saying the H word and the D word. Where did he learn this?