Disclaimer: I am in NO way anti-cowboy. I am, however, anti skinny-legged wranglers that are too tight for my 5-year-old but that he is unwilling to stop wearing.
T'was the night before Kindergarten, and in Holden's room
The skinny-legged wranglers lay in the light of the moon.
His mother had piled them up with great care
In hopes that the Wrangler Fairy soon would be there.
The t-bones and pepsi were out in plain sight
For the Wrangler Fairy to snack on that night.
And Mom in her pj's and Holden in his cap
Had just settled in for a long summer's nap.
When outside the window, we heard a stampede
Of herefords and angus, and a whinnying stede.
"Yeehaw!" cried a voice, as clear as a bell
"I'm here for the wranglers, and I'm thirsty as hell."
The white cowboy hat atop Wrangler Fairy's head
Almost glowed in the moonlight as he stood by the bed.
On his boots there were spurs as shiny as stars
And he staggered a little (from visiting bars).
He turned to the snacks, gobbling them up with delight
Belching and smacking his belly, so tight.
"And now for the jeans," the Wrangler Fairy said
"I'll leave some baggy pants for the boy in their stead."
He turned on the spot and pulled out a lasso
Snatching up the jeans like Fasty McFasto
Laying a finger on the trigger of his gun,
He nodded his head and began to run
To his white horse he flew, and he gave a great "yah!"
The cattle soon followed him, with their hides so raw.
But before he was gone, he gave a loud shout
"I'll be coming for more when these ones wear out!"
Wish me luck on this wrangler fairy ruse. I'll let you know how it goes.
When I first read the title I assumed that Mom was the Wrangler Fairy who supplies children with Wranglers. As long as there is a desire for skinny-leg jeans, I believe that Mom will continue to fulfill the desire.
ReplyDeleteIs Pepsi the cowboy soft drink of choice? Interesting.
ReplyDeleteOh yes. The Pepsi-country Coke-city phenomenon is universal.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea. Thanks for setting me straight. I guess I'm city slicker through-and-through (although I did own a pair of Wranglers once in high school).
ReplyDeleteHilar! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI think the important issue is why he had Wranglers in the first place?
ReplyDeleteI hope someday if I ever have a son that he's as cool as Holden.
ReplyDeleteGood question, Smash. The wranglers came from my mother, who feels that it is her duty to cowboy-ify all of her grandchildren. What can I say? I indulge her.
ReplyDeleteWould wranglers make me look skinny? I'm not sure I want to think about that.
ReplyDeleteLoved the poetry and all the comments. Holden is a real character and knows his own mind. Keep blogging away for us all to enjoy. What a gift you have. Julie and I think someday you will write a book.
ReplyDeleteHolden is off to kindergarten and after a few tears (belt buckle on the wrong side and belt loops too big), he is wearing his baggy jeans. His hat is resting in the car and will be waiting for him when Carly picks him up.
ReplyDeleteThe world is at peace.
Carly,
ReplyDeleteI just came and read the poem again, and I have to tell you it is really quite hilarious. You crack me up!