I am so glad this election is finally over. I hope that people can stop making (subconscious??) racist comments about the results and get on board with the positivity. Cause that was a great moment, yo. And if you are still wondering where I stood since I was so cryptic on my blog, just know that I felt so happy that for the first time in my short voting career, the person I voted for actually WON. What a moment for ME!
But I want to move on and stop talking about all this, because I have even MORE important things to discuss. Here are just a few issues I hope President-Elect Obama will address when he moves into the white house:
1. Corn Syrup: I really hope Obama perpetuates this new push to clear high fructose corn syrup of its nasty reputation. Cause, hey, it's natural. And it's FINE in moderation (see the ads).
2. Hamburger: all my life ground beef has been a staple. Now suddenly normal people are telling me that they "rarely" or even "never" buy it. How the hell are these people making tacos? How are they making lasagna, spaghetti, meat loaf, Hamburger Helper, for crying out loud? Obama needs to bring this gross oversight into the public eye and start passing some pro-burger laws (and if anyone needs some tips for browning themselves up a little hamburger, you can call on me).
3. Trunk-or-treats: hey, I get it if you live in a scary city. Otherwise, stop trying to control your children's entire LIVES. Let them get their candy the old fashioned way on Halloween: by trick or treating on foot in a neighborhood you know and trust. Trunk or Treats are ruining the fabric of society. In my day, we walked miles. Then we came home and ate our candy at whatever pace we saw fit. If that meant consuming the entire bag that night, our parents did not stop us. We didn't have candy fairies, candy taxes, or any candy rules. We learned from stomach aches and disappointment when we ran out of candy too soon. 'nuff said.
I'm sure Obama will address these issues once he is done sewing us all traditional Communist Mao suits and implanting microchips into our heads.