Lately I've been feeling very unwomanly. I always sort of feel out of place at enrichment meetings, et. al., but I think the real kicker was when they were giving away free "di-cuts" at the faculty wives Fall Social at BYU Idaho. I was like "what on earth is a di-cut? What the heck am I gonna do with a little paper cut-out of a chick? A bunny? A pumpkin?" While a frenzy of di-cut loving women descended on the basket of freebies like a swarm of flies on an open container of barbecued pork, I just stood there and wished I actually was EATING some bbqed pork instead of the "lady food" offered there (not that it wasn't good, because it was, but it was lady food. I'm just saying, you don't see ribs at women's events--yet aren't we ladies actually MADE of ribs? What gives? I've discussed this in great detail here). So THAT was upsetting.
I'm just not a normal, typical woman. I feel uncomfortable at ladies' events. In fact, the smell of pantyhose and perfume at the annual BYU Women's Conference is positively suffocating to me. I hate women's choirs. I'm not one of those people who think it's cool to dislike Relief Society, but I certainly am one of those people who sit in RS lessons thinking "what are all these ladies doing all day that makes them say they have no time? I've got time! I spend a lot of time just sitting and staring off into space. Enter di-cuts....I guess I should be scrapbooking with all my spare time!"
Yeah, so, I'm not much of a woman. But yesterday I had a real woman moment when I canned peaches. There we were: just three ladies canning peaches and.....making fun of Sarah Palin. "Hillary Clinton is strong, like a MAN!" I said. "That's why nobody likes her! That's why 'the man' tries to keep her down." "Yeah!" OH.....I guess I'm still not qualified to be a woman. I mean, I'm getting closer. I have several beautiful jars of lovely peaches and peach jam on the one hand, but on the other hand, I still love a good mannish woman in a bad pantsuit. I think I'll go out and buy some di-cuts.